#and it kinda blows my mind that almost 500 other people agree with me now. i mean obviously autism is not a unique experience but still

[slug-glug-chug]

hi i just wanted to let you know i listen to your autism focus playlist everytime i'm studying and/or writing a paper. it's the first and only focus music i've ever found that actually works for my spicy little brain. thank you!!!

yeah of course!!

there's so many playlists out there titled "songs to relax to" or what have you, but 90% of the time it's hard lofi drums or tons of vocals. maybe not exclusively, but common enough throughout the playlist that there's no point anymore

so i made the autism focus playlist for me, but i also made it for you haha. thanks for listening <3

[strwbnnie]

pairing: K. Bakugo x Chubby Black!Fem reader

w/c: 3k

c/w: 18+ MDNI

mentions of fingering, blowjobs, rough fucking, kitchen sex, stand and carry position lol, roommates, college au, fwb, you being a brat, katsuki falls in love at first sight lol,

chile this is all over the place but my beta told me to post it 😭 it’s kinda just a bunch of blurbs about you and bakubabe becoming roommates

❀

So, the story was he’d been kicked out of campus housing for blowing a hole through the gym wall and attacking Deku.

In actuality, it was him who’d been blown through the wall while sparring with the shitty loser, Deku still unable to fully control his given quirk.

It almost cost him his scholarship but after Deku begged and professors Toshinori and Aizawa pulled some strings—he’d only been reprimanded and removed from the on-campus housing in fear that he’d cause an insane amount of damage again in the future.

He found the ad on Reddit—$500 a month for rent and the only utilities were electricity and cable/internet, which would probably be split between him and the other tenant. Amenities included a full kitchen, washer and dryer and a full bathroom. The only requirement was that he was in attendance at U.A University, which he was, and a payment of first & last rent.

Of course he was going to jump on it, he was desperate and it was affordable. He even emailed the person who posted the ad, asking to meet as soon as tomorrow.

He paid the landlord with no questions asked, even after the unsightly security deposit was tacked on after running a background check.

He scratched his name onto every highlighted section, agreeing to live with a stranger for the next two and a half years.

***

Now, he did not expect said stranger to be so damn cute.

Cute chubby cheeks, full pouty lips and your curly hair was in a big poof on the top of your head like a bunny’s tail. You had to be at least a foot shorter than him, a tiny plump little thing you were. So damn adorable.

Well now he was absolutely sure he’d made the right decision. Who knows what some creep would do to a cutie like you if they had gotten the room before he did.

You greeted him with a hello and a smile. He responded with only a grunt as he lugged two duffel bags and a roller suitcase into the doorway.

He dropped them with a loud thud, turning to look at you.

“You my new roommate?” He asked, looking you up and down. Your attire was distracting—a small white shirt with your nipples peeking through the thin fabric and don’t even get him started on the way he could see your fat pussy print through your pink shorts.

“A hi, hey or hello would be nice.” You sassed, sipping from a pink drink. “I didn’t sleep with you last night.”

Looks like his bunny had a tongue like a scorpion’s tail.

“Hello.” He smirked, pleasantly annoyed at how your lips curled into a smile at the greeting. Almost like you wanted to bitch him.

“That’s better. Your room is the one on the left.”

“Gotcha, anything else?” He tried to focus his eyes on anything but your pretty face.

“Please don’t forget to put the toilet seat down, clean up after yourself and your company and lastly I’m not stingy with food, so what’s mine is yours, just please don’t be an asshole. If there’s not much of something please ask before you take it.” Your rules were simple enough right? Basic roommate etiquette.

“Ya think I don’t have any goddamn home training?!” Bakugo snapped, gritting his teeth.

You laughed at the angry blonde, he reminded you of an angry Pomeranian and it was actually quite cute.

He was relieved when you giggled at him. Some people took his snappy attitude way too serious, it was honestly annoying as hell.

You really didn’t mind the way Bakugo talked. You were probably just as bad, only difference was your mouth was slick as hell and he was just mean and loud.

“Do you cook?”

Your face lit up. “Yes! I love to cook.” Your smile was enchanting to him, almost made him want to give you one in return.

He shoved his hand into his pocket, pulling out an envelope. It was some extra cash, probably like a hundred bucks or so, since he had to draw extra money from the atm because the money order amount was only enough to cover rent and not the security deposit.

“Good. Use it for groceries or whatever. We can go together or…I’ll make a list.” His mouth and heart working against his brain. Words tumbling out before he could even think.

“Oh..uh, we can go together, since I don’t have a car.” You didn’t expect him to be so forward or so generous,

The blonde’s heart clenched at the thought of you being his pretty passenger princess. Maybe this roommate thing wouldn’t be too bad.

***

You and Bakugo as roommates definitely took some getting used to, since you’d occupied the unit alone for such a long time.

For instance, your weekday routine was set in stone, so like usual, by the time you entered the doorway you were already stripping . You left your black crocs at the door, stepping out of your scrub bottoms, pulling the top over your head the same time.

“Shit.” You sighed out, unhooking the bra you had on, breasts finally free as they fell out of the cups with a small bounce, rubbing the spot where the underwire kept digging into your skin.

Finally opening your eyes, you were met crimson and there he was, leaned against the wall, eyes glued to you like a lion hunting a doe.

You let out a shriek, using your clothes to cover your body the best way you could, shielding yourself from further embarrassment.

“Forget about me already, dumbass?”

Glaring at the blonde you scurried past him, seething at the shit eating grin on his face.

“You saw nothing.” You gritted out before running the rest of the way to your room.

But, as soon as you were gone the facade dropped and he ran his hands down his face, seemingly more flustered than you were. He’d never seen a woman naked before, outside of porn of course, and it just had to be you.

He hoped he hadn’t upset you, the look of terror on your face was just too fucking cute not to laugh at.

“Fuckkkk.” He whispered out, having popped a hard on in seconds.

Even Bakugo couldn’t deny how sexy you were. A pretty face and an even prettier body. You had a nice fuckin rack too, he was definitely an ass guy at heart but there was nothing wrong with appreciating a nice pair of tits every now and then. You were probably a double D cup since they had a natural lowness to them, he just knew they’d be nice and heavy in his large hands. To top it off you had big areolas and cute little inverted nipples that he’d love to coax out of hiding.

He didn’t know what he liked more— the sight of your juicy, thick ass bent over in a pink thong as you gathered your clothing off the floor or your pretty ass titties and how they bounced with almost every move you made.

The blonde trudged to his room, dick insanely hard and rubbing against his thigh.

Closing his bedroom door, he sat on his bed palming his dick through his sweat shorts. Taking his cock in his hand, he rubbed his thumb around the fat mushroom tip, shuddering at the sensitivity. He pumped his thick cock nice and slow, envisioning your beautiful body now that he could go off of more than just the illusion your tight clothes gave.

“Damn..” That was all it took for Bakugo to feel himself fall over the edge, thick ropes of cum painting his chest and belly as his body shook and his pants turned into slow ragged breaths.

Grabbing a couple tissues from the nightstand beside his bed, he wiped his stomach, chest and the tip of his dick before tossing them into the wastebasket.

Less than satisfied, he shoved his still somewhat hard dick back into his pants

Beating off to his roommate was not how he’d planned spending his first week in his new home.

***

Bakugo sat at the kitchen trying to take notes but he couldn’t even fucking focus. You were always on his mind, invading his thoughts every chance you got.

He wasn’t sure if he liked you, maybe it was lust, either way it was a fucking nuisance.

As more and more time passed, seven whole months to be exact, the two of you began to get very comfortable with each other.

Well, as comfortable as two hornballs could get without going all the way. Neither of you had ever brought anyone back to the apartment so it was assumed that the both of you were single. That was perfect because you two really enjoyed each other’s company, experimenting with things that were fun and worked well for your friendship.

Like studying together in the kitchen, sometimes Bakugo would take the initiative to create flash cards and test you.

Or the movie nights on the couch that occasionally ended with you in his lap, legs spread with two of his thick fingers deep in your creamy pussy.

And even the late night snack runs where you’d most likely end up with a mouthful of his cock in an almost empty Target parking lot.

He’d come to find out you were incredibly clingy too. If your classes happened to end before his, you’d nap in his bed until he returned, loving the scent of burnt sugar that stuck to his sheets and pillows. You loved his scent, since it was calming and reminded you of holiday sweets. Plus, you couldn’t fit his clothes so this was the next best thing.

He heard you softly enter the apartment, watching you stripping down at the door like you usually did until you were in a white, cropped tank and your underwear.

He also noticed you loved to walk around in nothing but tiny shirts and your panties. You’d been doing it a lot more lately since the weather was transitioning into those hotter months and you honestly reminded him of that silly little bear that loved honey.

“Hey.” He greeted first, something he began doing around the third month of living together.

“Hey.”

“What’s wrong.”

Something had upset you, he could hear it in your voice. He knew you like the back of his hand and you hated it.

“Nothing.” You kept your replies short but that didn’t keep him from pestering you. You weren’t upset with him, just annoyed at your dumb parents. You’d gone to see them, you hadn’t seen them in a while and you kinda hoped that they’d start giving you your full allowance again.

Instead they berated you, bringing up trivial things such as your weight and even the way you dressed. It was draining, they were draining, and you just wanted to be left alone right now.

“Fuck is your problem?”

Of course your roommate couldn’t take a hint, too stubborn and caring to just let you walk away upset.

Of course you wanted to tell him how you were feeling, but you hated the vulnerability that came with expressing your feelings. Plus, knowing Katsuki, he’d probably just yell at you and call you a dumbass for even caring about their opinions.

“I don’t have a problem Katsuki.” You rolled your eyes, more than annoyed at his tone. “It’s just school stuff, damn. Just leave it the fuck alone!” Was he really dumb enough to think talking to you like that would help?

“Excuse me.” You tried to slide past him, since he currently towered over you waiting for an explanation.

“Y’er not excused.” He pulled you back.

You yelped in surprise as you were shoved against the island, staring into his fiery eyes as he wrapped one of his large hands around your neck.

“Gonna talk to me?” He asked, staring down at you with those daunting crimson eyes. “Fuck off.” You rolled your eyes, pushing at his chest. Of course he didn’t budge, the 6’3 mammoth continued to peer down at you, brows furrowed.

His other hand trailed down, running two fingers up and down your cunt, catching some of the slick that had already began to pool there.

“Already soaking wet,” He shook his head. “Dumb lil’ slut.”

He spun you around just as quickly as he’d pulled you back, bending you over the island and pulling your thong aside.

Bakugo slapped his heated palm against your ass, the pleasant sting forcing a moan from your parted lips.

You heard the jingling metal of his belt buckle coming undone and your eyes widened.

“Katsuki, what-.”

“S’okay, I know exactly what you need babe.” He reasoned, pulling his underwear down and pressing his hard cock between your thighs.

The way you tooted your ass up didn’t go unnoticed either, attitude seeming to have melted away at the thought of getting your pussy pounded. The blonde smirked, shaking his head again.

His thick cock bullied its way into your virgin cunt, your already slick walls making it just that easy for him to slide right in like he belonged there. The squelch of your pussy was loud as he drilled in and out of you, showing you no mercy.

He reached his arms around, slipping his hands under your tank top to tweak your nipples and squeeze your heavy tits in his big hands.

“Mmmm..fuck Katsuki.” You moaned from the pleasure, loving the way he pinched and squeezed your sensitive nipples. He moved lower, spreading his warm palms all over your soft skin, stopping only to grab at the fat of your tummy.

You stood on your tippy toes, making you just tall enough to take his cock comfortably. The harsh slaps of his hips slamming into your ass, his grunts and your moans echoed in the small kitchen as he fucked you, gradually picking up pace.

He’d actually had a decent day, the academy usually kicked his ass on Fridays, and he wasn’t about to let your gross attitude fuck that up.

“This what you wanted, right?” He pounded your pretty little cunt, drawing out the most adorable little sounds from you.

He felt so good inside of you, like his dick was made for your pussy. Stuffing you full of his cock while he sent harsh slaps to your ass, brows pushed into a deep frown.

“Right?” He snarled, emphasizing his question with a particularly hard thrust, pressing his chest against your back and grabbing your jaw, twisting your neck so hard you thought he wanted to snap it.

You let out a strained moan as he stared at you with those darkened eyes, hips never faltering as he waited for an answer.

“Uh-Uhhuh.” Was all you could muster, Katsuki smirking at the way your eyes crossed and your jaw went slack in his hand.

“Yeah? Wanted me to fuck that nasty lil’ attitude right outta ya huh?” He placed a kiss on your lips, biting your plump bottom lip before he retreated back.

You nodded, vision clouded with specs of white as his thumb played with your asshole and his cock stroked that sweet spot in your cunt over and over.

“Katsuki.” You sighed out his name. “F-feels s’good baby.”

“I know,” He cooed, voice like caramel as he fucked into you, now at a slower pace. “Can’t have those shitty clinical’s stressing my pretty Princess out. How ‘bout you quit, be my lil cumrag instead?”

“Mhm, I will.”

It was like a switch had flipped and his sweet voice clouded your brain, making you forget all common sense. Right now you’d agree to just about anything right now as long as it kept his cock in you.

Bakugo on the other hand, a virgin less than five minutes ago, wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep this up. Especially with his cock now very acquainted with your tight, wet, warm pussy and wanted nothing more than to plant his seed deep inside you.

He unsheathed himself from your pussy, the cool air making him hiss as he spun you around.

He raked his eyes over you, taking in your fucked-out appearance. Tank top ill fitting and stretched out from all his pulling, slight bruising on your neck from when he held you there, your tear stained face was icing on the cake, and he absolutely loved it. A layer of sheen covered you, baby hairs now messily slick to your forehead , lips swollen and red from your biting.

He had so much fucking energy, must be the effects of your quirk. Yeah, it had to be the effects of your shitty quirk, even pre-workout never got him this energetic and all this stimulation at once felt so damn good. His heart pumped fast like it wanted to explode, blood flowed through his veins a mile a minute making his dick rock hard. Bakugo felt like he could fuck you for hours, but he knew his inexperienced cock wouldn’t allow it this time.

He lifted you as if you weighed nothing, locking his arms behind your knees and placing his hands on your fat, juicy ass. His wide palms dug into your doughy ass and thighs, giving you a nice hard slap every now and then.

Easing you down slowly, he splits you open on his cock again, feeding you dick inch by meaty inch until you’re filled to the brim once again.

The brawny brute handled your weight like the champ he was, lifting you with ease and it made your pussy so fucking wet. He bounced you on his cock loving your hot breath on his ear as you moaned and panted like a bitch in heat.

You couldn’t help it, as you were too deep in the throes of pleasure as his slightly curved cock kissed your g-spot with every single thrust.

“Mmmm Kats…g’nna cum.” Your sweet velvety voice spoke the lovely sentence he’d been waiting on all evening. You clenched and unclenched as he quickened his pace a bit, fucking you and himself to climax, cock slamming into your cervix so deliciously hard it knocked the wind out of you.

“Fuuckkk.” You held onto him for dear life, lips pressed against his as you made a mess on him, coating his cock in your cream. Burying your face in his shoulder, you cried out as he fucked you through your orgasm.

“That’s it…”

His thrusts grew sloppy and fast as he threw his head back. It felt so good, so good he almost contemplated filling you up.

But he pulled out, spurting out those warm ropes on your belly, some flying God knows where.

Before sitting you down on the cool granite countertop he slid a heated palm across the surface, warming up your seat. He grabbed a couple napkins to clean you up, watching as you leaned back on your arms, still sporting that blissful fucked-out expression on your pretty face.

“Now, stop acting like a spoiled fuckin’ brat and tell me what happened.”

❀

closing a/n: I hope y’all enjoyed it 😭 I’m still feeling iffy tbh 🫤 feeling like I wrote him too soft, ya know

[photolover82]

The Masked Singer Season 4 Episode 2: Group B kicking it off... with a twist!! Guesses and Commentary

Hello my fellow Masked Singer guys and gals! It's that time of the week again (albeit I am a bit late, but let's go with it), time for Ana's Masked Singer recap woohoo! *insert fanfare here* This episode was such an insane one not gonna lie, Group B came in with a bang like wow... let's just get into it because it's a crazy episode in it of itself.

Firstly, I gotta point out the contestants of Group B, which this time were 6 unlike A and C which only have 5 contestants total.. and those 6 are (order from left to right, top row first then bottom row in the image below) Crocedile, Gremlin (the purple fluffy guy), Seahorse, Whatchamacallit (the blue and red hair cousin It thing), Baby Alien, and Serpent.

Alrighty so this elimination is gonna be a bit different than usual because it isn't the norm of what usually happens with these sorts of things (I'll tell you what I mean in a sec)...

So the first contestant unmasked for Group B actually wasn't eliminated (I know what you are thinking... "whaaatttt Anaaaaa that makes no sense")... but actually he unmasked himself (whatttt?! yeah you read that right, he legit was hot and suffocating and he seemed super over it and just took it off by himself... yup, that happened like what mind blown!

Anyways the mask who did this was...

*DRUMROLL PLEASE*

THE GREMLIN

Performance: He sang Stand by Me by Ben E. King and honestly it was meh, it was really breathy as if he forgot some of the words, I don’t know if he was overcome with emotion (because he dedicated it to his friend who passed away) or what, I felt kind of bad but I low key feel like he was going to go home regardless, but on the bright side I love the costume and it was a great song choice for his range. He has a very raspy voice... like almost like a smoker’s voice and I can kind of tell that he’s an older man, but I couldn’t recognize the singer. 

So the Gremlin ended up being revealed to be.... 

*DRUMROLL PLEASE*

MICKEY ROURKE 

Ugh this upsets me because I don’t know who he is so I really couldn’t guess him correctly. I searched it up and apparently he’s an actor and director and was in Iron Man 2, which I’ve never seen like ever. But yeah, he did good, he looked kinda drunk not gonna lie and I guess he was suffocated and got over it. 

Alright now that that’s out of the way, let’s get to my favorite part, the remaining 5 contestants: 

1. THE SEAHORSE

Performance: I really love Seahorse, she’s one of my favorites of the night and so far in the season in general. Her performance of Rihanna’s Only Girl in the World was amazing and I definitely knew who that voice is...

My guess and I am so sure about this guys is singer, songwriter, American Idol alum... 

TORI KELLY 

Dude like that voice is so recognizable... but also because of the clues: 

Emotion Ocean= she’s super emotional when it comes to songwriting, like she legit said in an interview that she cries a lot

Tea Party= she hosted tea parties with her fans in 2019 (well before all this ofc) 

Rainbow Frog= sang Rainbow Connection with Kermit the Frog 

Judges’ Guesses: 

Jenny: Halsey (say what now? This doesn’t sound like her... is Jenny ok? This episode she’s been messing up with guesses more than Ken... you’ll see what I mean) 

Nicole: Hailee Steinfeld (meh, that’s ok I guess, but not quite) 

Robin: Bebe Rexha (he was onto something when he said country but then he said this, but this is the closest guess of the 3)  

2. THE SERPENT 

Performance: This one is my other favorite of this group. His performance of “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)” by The Proclaimers was absolutely stunning, I got chills! If it is who I think it is, I love him (partially because I think I know who it can be) 

I think the Serpent can be actor of the iconic Broadway sensation Hamilton aka Aaron Burr, Sir:

LESLIE ODOM JR. 

Dude like I feel pretty good about this guess because of the voice and the clues:

Map of the Caribbean= reference to the beginning of Hamilton where Alexander Hamilton is from

Jr. References= he’s a jr. 

Between medicine & music= he played a doctor on Murder on the Orient Express in 2017

Number 31118 (this was from the Sunday before the premiere but still worth noting)= 3 albums, 11 stage productions, 18 years on Broadway OR bible verse Romans 3:11-18 which was written by Paul, a character he played on Rent

Judges’ Guesses:

Jenny: John Legend (See what I’m saying? Jenny, what are you doing man? That is not John Legend, like they don’t sound alike at all) 

Ken: Daveed Diggs (Wow! Ken got it kinda close, I’m proud, that’s an achievement for him we gotta give it to him) 

Nicole: Leslie Odom Jr. (WOOOO!! Yesss Nicole!!) 👏🏼

3. THE CROCODILE 

Performance: I also really liked Crocodile and his performance of It’s My Life by Bon Jovi was great! I feel like I know who this is, and I am pretty familiar (well, more or less) with 90s and early 2000s boybands and this one is someone in that realm I am so sure of it... 

Ok so being more specific, I think it’s boybander from The Backstreet Boys: 

NICK CARTER 

The voice and the clues were a dead giveaway:

The Vegas vibes in the clue package= he performed in Vegas with Backstreet Boys 

Water clues (the water slide and happiest in water)= he was born in Orlando, FL home of the theme parks and FL is also some of the Gators so it would makes sense with the costume

Grew up in Hollywood= moved there when really young

Judges’ Guesses:

Ken: John Hamm (and he’s back, that was a terrible guess)

Nicole: Nick Lachey (so close, but not quite)

Robin: Donnie Wahlberg (um, Jenny agreed, how does she not know that this ain’t your husband?!) 

4. THE WHATCHAMACALLIT

Performance:  His performance of “I Wish” by Skee-Lo was good, not my favorite, but I didn’t hate it. I am kind of feeling that it’s an athlete due to the height and also how he speaks. 

So this guess is an idea I got from the Internet (subject to change because I have no clue about sports players): 

Rashad Jennings?

The only thing I got from the clues was:

Dancing with Stars= he won DWTS 

Clues IDK

Orange Jelly= ?

The clock with the Bear Mask on the 5= ? 

Swinging Keys= ?

Judges’ Guesses:

Nicole= Swiss Beats (meh idk) 

Ken: Damon Lillard (I like this guess, tbh.. I kinda agree with it being a sports player)

Robin: Tyler the Creator (that would be cool but I don’t think so) 

5. THE BABY ALIEN

Performance: His performance of Faith by George Micheals was good too, better than I expected for the costume ngl. I had pretty low expectations but I am pleasantly surprised. He isn’t my favorite by any means and I am also a bit stumped by him especially because of that fake Russian accent, but I am in between 2 people at the moment....

The 2 people I am in between are either Ventriloquist Jeff Dunham or actor 

JASON SEGEL 

It kinda sounds like him and the clues are a bit confusing but there’s one I understand too:

Tony Awards Reference= he’s been on Broadway 

The mask’s a puppet and Segel is a big fan of puppets (He was also in the Muppets movie) 

CLUES IDK 

Space clues= ?

Friends Reference (2nd Gear)= ?

Ferris Beuller references= ?

Judges’ Guesses:

Jenny: Ralph Macchio (meh I guess that’s good) 

Nicole: David Schwimmer (not bad, but idk it doesn’t really sound like it)

Ken: Freddie Prinze Jr. (ya, no) 

Alright so that’s it! I am so sorry for it being late, but better late than never... I’ve been pretty busy so hopefully this weekend I will have tonight’s episode recap up... THANK YOU FOR READING AND I WILL SEE YOU IN THE NEXT ONE *blows kiss* byeeee! 

[chatuoir]

catastrophic affairs, truly (chap 5)

chaps 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / on ao3

hello it has been 500 years since i last updated but the lovely AmelineAmira on ao3 wrote a fic inspired by this one? omg? and that reminded me that i needed to update (i had the chapter ready i was just being lazy)(thank u <3) so yall should definitely check that fic out but in the meantime here is another chapter lets get LIT (its like midnight goodnight)

Marinette is smothered in hugs as soon as she steps into the bakery. Her parents apologize to the customers before pulling her into the living room, clearly scared about her well-being. They'd heard about the attack on the news and keep inspecting her to check for injuries; she assures them that she's fine.

“Really, Maman, I'm okay. The broken glass didn't even cut me. I promise.” She says. Her parents exchange a glance before turning back to her.

“We’re glad you're okay,” Her father starts, “But what about the stuff we’ve heard about this Chat Noir business?” Marinette silently curses. Shit. The attack had distracted her from thinking of a good way to bring it up.

She takes a deep breath. Well. “I know this is going to sound really weird, but I can explain. The truth is... Chat Noir is my fake boyfriend.”

Her parents stare at her for a few moments, eerily quiet. Marinette stands there waiting for a reaction, but there isn't one. Finally, she starts again.

“So... Chat asked me to fake date him so Ladybug wouldn't think he was lying to her about him having a girlfriend; I felt bad for him, but I also thought it was really funny, so I agreed. We set up some conditions so this doesn't go too far, and I can opt out whenever I want.” Marinette sees her parents visibly relax a little, but they're still confused. At last, Tom speaks up.

“I think the only question I can really ask is... can I meet this Chat?” Marinette hesitates in answering. Fortunately, she's saved by a bell ringing from inside the store. Sabine goes to check and brings back a plate of cookies and friend- in fact, she brings back a plate of chocolate chip cookies and a superhero friend.

“Hi Mr and Mrs Dupain-Cheng,” Chat greets after inhaling a couple cookies, “I'm Chat Noir, but I think you knew that. I just wanted to say that everything that's happened to your daughter today with the akuma was my fault and I apologize. Did she tell you exactly what's going on?” He says in one spurt. Marinette gestures for him to calm down and breathe.

“It's fine, I told them.” She says. He looks noticeably relieved.

“I didn't want you two to stress out or anything, I mean, Marinette was safe during the attack, if you count being trapped inside a glass cat head safe. Which, by the way, I'm really sorry for-- I didn't think people would overreact to something like who I'm dating. Or, you know, in this case, fake dating.” Honestly, this boy doesn't know when to stop talking; Marinette’s almost embarrassed for him. Luckily, her parents smile at him warmly.

“Thanks for letting us know, Chat.” Tom says. “We trust that you and Marinette can handle this, but if anything starts to trouble you, don't be afraid to come to us. Both of you.” Okay, dad. We can't just adopt every guy I (fake) date. Marinette thinks.

Chat grins, nods, and takes a few more cookies. “Thank you for everything. Can I speak to Marinette for a couple minutes?”

“I'm really sorry about everything that happened today. If you want to call it quits right now, that's fine with me. I can ask Alya to take all the pictures off her blog.” Chat says.

“No, no, really, it's fine! You wouldn't believe how many times I've been in serious situations like today’s, especially with the amount of attacks that happen in my school. Seriously. I forgive you. And if it had really bothered me that much I’m sure I would’ve asked Alya myself. Really, I’m okay.”

“So... we’re still fake dating?”

“Duh. You literally just met my parents. I'm not gonna break up with you right now.” Chat breathes out a sigh of relief. Then he rubs his temples before speaking up.

“You know what I just realized? I don't have any way to contact you besides like this, face to face. Can I have your phone number or something? Wait, no, you might know the civilian me. What about IM? I'll make a new one just for you. Maybe something like, small x - big x - Mari’s - underscore - true - underscore - love  - big x - small x’, just to keep everything fresh.”

Marinette jokes. “Who are you, a scene kid from 2009?” They both snort at that.

“Like you have any better ideas.”

“Yeah, I don’t. Mine’s just my name.” Chat makes a big show of committing that to memory, as if he’s going to mix it up and find a different Marinette Dupain-Cheng somewhere on the internet. Marinette has to admit that he’s a pretty funny guy, even if he tries too hard to be cool sometimes.

A few minutes later she's shooing him out the bakery door while he salutes and blows a kiss. A couple customers smile; Marinette catches a few of them sneaking glances and laughs to herself. The fun has only just begun, she thinks.

It's past midnight, and Marinette knows she’s supposed to be on her rounds right now, except she isn’t really sure what to say to Chat as Ladybug after the day’s events. Technically, there was no way she could’ve helped him during the attack since she was quite literally trapped, but she still feels kind of bad. They’re supposed to be a team.

Marinette lays in bed for a while and listens as the city settles. There’s usually a couple cars left at this hour, and of course Paris is still ablaze- they don’t call it the City of Lights for no reason- but it feels eerily quiet and dark. I’m probably sleep-deprived, she thinks. Suddenly, her phone lights up and nearly blinds her. She fumbles for it and reads the notification.

New IM chat request from xXmaris_true_loveXx

Marinette has to smother herself with her blanket before she laughs too hard and wakes the entire city. She accepts the request and sees that Chat’s already sent a couple messages.

xXmaris_true_loveXx: hello my false lover (i hope)

i have a question

do you happen to be friends with lb or can you contact her

if so where tf is she?

oh shoot it's like 12:17 im sorry if i woke you up

She frantically types a message back, whispering for Tikki to get ready to transform her.

Marinettedcheng: hi chat no u didnt wake me i do in fact have a way to contact her i will tell her ur waiting & congrats on finding the right mari

xXmaris_true_loveXx: ok good i was just worried cus she wasn’t answering. get some rest you need your beauty sleep

Marinettedcheng: cant tell if thats an insult or compliment but thx i will see u 2mo

xXmaris_true_loveXx: wow i would never slander my fake gf </3... goodnight

“He certainly is a character, isn’t he?” Tikki says. Marinette rolls her eyes, her face shining from the glow of the city.

“Sure. Let’s get going. Tikki, spots on!” Marinette transforms at 12:20 and heads out to the Eiffel Tower.

-

It’s quite relaxing to be above the city in the dead hours of the night, with everything sparkling and the cool breeze rustling through the air. Ladybug finds her partner sitting on a ledge, lost in thought. She settles down next to him and they silently greet each other. It's awkward for a while before she speaks up.

“Hey.. so. I just wanted to say I'm sorry. Again. For not showing up earlier today? But I was in a sticky situation.” He smiles softly and Ladybug catches it, his face lit up by the moonlight.

“I forgive you. Again. It's okay, my Lady. I promise.” It's still a little awkward.

“Okay. I just feel guilty. Like, all these people were looking up to me to help them and be their hero, but I wasn't even there.”

“But your trusty sidekick was there,” Chat says with a grin.

She gently shoves him. “Chat, we talked about this. You're my partner, not my sidekick. We're equal. We balance each other out, that’s kinda the point. Duh.” He lets out a short laugh.

“Yeah, yeah, you're right. Team Miraculous, am I right?” She nods, glad that the slight tension in the air is gone. The two fist bump before settling back into the silence of the night.

A few more moments pass.

“We should... uh... patrol now?” Ladybug whispers. Chat’s eyes widen.

“Yeah, yep, you're right, I’ll do the north side of the city,” He raises his baton and helps Ladybug to her feet, “See you in 30.” Then he does an Olympics-worthy dive off the side of the tower, extending the pole to vault to the next building. Ladybug snorts as he leaves. Show-off. Again, she thinks.

--

Ladybug catches a couple thieves before finishing her patrol; they’re some sneaky tourists who wanted free souvenirs, but they at least have the dignity to look guilty when she turns them in.

Chat is sitting on the building across from the Dupain-Cheng bakery. Ladybug wants to laugh; he probably thinks his fake girlfriend is in there, asleep, not at all thinking about the crazy day they just had like he definitely is. She suddenly realizes he’s speaking to her and snaps out of her trance.

“So... did you hear about what happened to me and Marinette?” Ladybug snorts. She’d read his mind.

“Yeah, someone told me to check the Ladyblog, like, a half hour after you confessed to me.”

“Hmm. Seems awfully suspicious. You sure you didn’t expose me?” Chat interrogates, but he’s smirking. Ladybug rolls her eyes.

“Pssh. You probably submitted that post yourself, because you thought I didn’t believe you or something,” She jokes. He freezes for a moment, but she doesn’t notice. Biting her tongue to keep from laughing, she grins and adds, “But you do like Marinette, I can tell. I mean, why else would you be dating her?”

He nervously laughs but tries to play it off. “Yeah, she’s great. It’s going well. But hey, that’s enough about my love life. What are your plans for tomorrow? I never got to ask.” Shit. Uh, I’m going on a fake date with you in civilian form, while trying to keep it realistic enough so other people think we’re actually dating- but only until your plan of making me, as Ladybug, jealous finally works- which probably won’t ever happen, so, honestly, you tell me.

Later, she would wonder if it was the sheer amount of exhaustion from the day, the huge billboard right in front of her, or the curiosity of the cat (especially a certain Chat) which made her difficult situation a whole lot worse. But at the time, all she could think was to say something as ridiculous as possible so he wouldn’t ask any questions.

“I’m, uh, also going on a date. With.. um, the one and only, uh...” Ladybug drops her gaze from Chat’s eyes (which turns out to be an accident) and says with confidence, “Adrien Agreste.”